Jun 132010

This cracked me up when I saw it, it reminded me of trying to kick Heroin on my own and basically sums it up in about 3 minutes.  This excerpt is from the movie Trainspotting and pretty much represents even with the best of intentions exactly how we try a self medicated detox and what happens.  I cracked up remembering w atching this movie

at like 3 years sober and coming out in a sweat having watched them glorify drugs for 2 hours.

Jun 052010

It took me many years and leaving no stone unturned to get to that “breaking point” where I was willing to admit I had a problem.  Not a problem with drugs and alcohol but a problem living without drugs and alcohol.  I was pretty much a garbage can at the end of my using.  I would do anything that anyone had to use.  I was living on the streets some nights high on meth-amphetamins so I didn’t have to sleep, or I was nodding out on someones couch that would let me in because I had enough heroin to get them high also.  It was a miserable existence coming from an upper class family and all my life having everything that I ever needed and more.  Before I created enough chaos to no longer be welcome in either my families household I fought everything tooth and nail with both parents.  I had to get to a point where I didn’t have any other choices and eventually I did.  I had been running from my problems for about three years and really had no where else to turn.  I fancied myself a bit of a hustler thinking that if I just could make one big score things would be alright.  Eventually my actions ended me up in jail facing some sever criminal charges and I finally got to a point where I was willing to ask for help.

I think that point was crucial for me, having always thought that if people would just get off my back and let me use the way I wanted to use I would be alright.  That breaking point came when I was sitting in jail for the 4th time that year and this time they weren’t going to let me out.  I had been to drug treatment before and didn’t think that was going to work but I also didn’t know what really was going to work.  I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living without some serious consequences, which at the time I was already facing.

I reached out to a family member and asked them what I should do and if they could help me.  They were well trained in the arts of Alanon and basically told me that I had no other option but to go back to rehab.  During my first few months in that treatment center I was basically bogged down with legal commitments and it’s kept a good sense of fear in me to just do what I was told to do.  It was exactly what I needed unfortunately.  This healthy fear kept me willing to do the things that were suggested and when I was released from that rehab I managed to get on the right path.  I hope everyone gets a chance to sober up if they have a drug or alcohol program, I even think that people outside

the program could really use

the 12-steps.

Eric P.

Jun 052010

Early sobriety for me was extremely crucial to figure out I could have fun without drugs or alcohol.  I had been through a drug treatment program that was pretty hardcore.  It was like a “boot camp for druggies” as one person put, but it was exactly what I needed at 21 years old having shunned any sense of responsibility for most of my life.  I attended ACYPAA events like going to Magic Mountain, going to dances on New Years Eve and even CA conventions in Palm Springs for a time.  I had a group of sober friends that would go out at night in Hollywood after meetings on the weekends too.  I was willing to just go out and be stupid and it seemed to work.  I was young and had that sense that if I wasn’t out doing something I was missing out on something good.  Sometimes that complacency can be dangerous but I directed it into sober activities and it really seemed to work.  Sober picnics and cookouts were a great opportunity for me to just not be alone and have people start to recognize me when I was attending lots of social sober functions.  I committed to lots of meetings fresh out of rehab.  I had been told that if I didn’t immerse myself in 12-step meetings and activities that I wouldn’t last very long.  I see this to be extremely true in my case but it took me a long time to recognize that I wasn’t as “terminally unique” as I thought I was for a good portion of my life.

When I separated myself from the groups of people I was surrounded by I seemed to not be able to relate to them very well.

This was potentially dangerous behavior and I didn’t figure it out until a few years into my life free from drugs and alcohol.  Nevertheless Sober activities were what truly helped me succeed in, not only getting to know other sober people but becoming a part of a new lifestyle.  It’s a daunting task sometimes, like being the new kid at a school.  You feel like you want to stand in the back of the room and make sure you have a quick get-away sitting next to the doors.  If you are a young person in Alcoholics Anonymous you will probably hear things like icypaa and acypaa depending on where you are located in the states.

These are conventions of Young People of Alcoholics Anonymous and genuinely make it easy to meet people your age who are sober and doing fun things.  A few of these resources to find young sober people in your area are listed below:

ICYPAA was founded for the purpose of providing a setting for an annual celebration of sobriety among young people, now having turned into events often to celebrate holidays, 3 day weekends, summer and other times of the year.

ACYPAA All California Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous.

NYCPAA New York City Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous.

NYCCPAA North Carolina Conference of Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous.

WICYPAA Wisconsin Young People in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Just to name a few.  The easiest way to find a place in your area is to do a search online for the city you are in.

Jun 042010

Attached is a video from a writer friend of mine about his experience getting sober and addressing the demons of addiction.

In this video he talks about his addiction, about his rehabilitation from drugs and alcohol and about recovery fellowship.  Thanks Mx for your contribution to my site.

Michael Xavier is a Los Angeles based underground author that writes about the grit, struggles, and ultimate triumphs of the everyday men and women who struggle with lifes demons.

His books “The Demon In My Brain” and his Novel, “LULLABY” are due out next year. You can see more of his work at: