Jun 052010
 

It took me many years and leaving no stone unturned to get to that “breaking point” where I was willing to admit I had a problem.  Not a problem with drugs and alcohol but a problem living without drugs and alcohol.  I was pretty much a garbage can at the end of my using.  I would do anything that anyone had to use.  I was living on the streets some nights high on meth-amphetamins so I didn’t have to sleep, or I was nodding out on someones couch that would let me in because I had enough heroin to get them high also.  It was a miserable existence coming from an upper class family and all my life having everything that I ever needed and more.  Before I created enough chaos to no longer be welcome in either my families household I fought everything tooth and nail with both parents.  I had to get to a point where I didn’t have any other choices and eventually I did.  I had been running from my problems for about three years and really had no where else to turn.  I fancied myself a bit of a hustler thinking that if I just could make one big score things would be alright.  Eventually my actions ended me up in jail facing some sever criminal charges and I finally got to a point where I was willing to ask for help.

I think that point was crucial for me, having always thought that if people would just get off my back and let me use the way I wanted to use I would be alright.  That breaking point came when I was sitting in jail for the 4th time that year and this time they weren’t going to let me out.  I had been to drug treatment before and didn’t think that was going to work but I also didn’t know what really was going to work.  I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living without some serious consequences, which at the time I was already facing.

I reached out to a family member and asked them what I should do and if they could help me.  They were well trained in the arts of Alanon and basically told me that I had no other option but to go back to rehab.  During my first few months in that treatment center I was basically bogged down with legal commitments and it’s kept a good sense of fear in me to just do what I was told to do.  It was exactly what I needed unfortunately.  This healthy fear kept me willing to do the things that were suggested and when I was released from that rehab I managed to get on the right path.  I hope everyone gets a chance to sober up if they have a drug or alcohol program, I even think that people outside

the program could really use

the 12-steps.

Eric P.