It took me many years and leaving no stone unturned to get to that “breaking point” where I was willing to admit I had a problem. Not a problem with drugs and alcohol but a problem living without drugs and alcohol. I was pretty much a garbage can at the end of my using. I would do anything that anyone had to use. I was living on the streets some nights high on meth-amphetamins so I didn’t have to sleep, or I was nodding out on someones couch that would let me in because I had enough heroin to get them high also. It was a miserable existence coming from an upper class family and all my life having everything that I ever needed and more. Before I created enough chaos to no longer be welcome in either my families household I fought everything tooth and nail with both parents. I had to get to a point where I didn’t have any other choices and eventually I did. I had been running from my problems for about three years and really had no where else to turn. I fancied myself a bit of a hustler thinking that if I just could make one big score things would be alright. Eventually my actions ended me up in jail facing some sever criminal charges and I finally got to a point where I was willing to ask for help.
I think that point was crucial for me, having always thought that if people would just get off my back and let me use the way I wanted to use I would be alright. That breaking point came when I was sitting in jail for the 4th time that year and this time they weren’t going to let me out. I had been to drug treatment before and didn’t think that was going to work but I also didn’t know what really was going to work. I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living without some serious consequences, which at the time I was already facing.
I reached out to a family member and asked them what I should do and if they could help me. They were well trained in the arts of Alanon and basically told me that I had no other option but to go back to rehab. During my first few months in that treatment center I was basically bogged down with legal commitments and it’s kept a good sense of fear in me to just do what I was told to do. It was exactly what I needed unfortunately. This healthy fear kept me willing to do the things that were suggested and when I was released from that rehab I managed to get on the right path. I hope everyone gets a chance to sober up if they have a drug or alcohol program, I even think that people outside
the program could really use